Kids today are growing up in a very different world than previous generations. They have greater access to knowledge and money, and technology has given them wide open access to basically the entire world. Today’s children often find themselves in situations and discussions that once upon a time were thought to be only for adults. Whether one agrees or disagrees with the fast-paced world kids are growing up in or not, it is undeniable that children must be confident in themselves to handle the various activities and interactions that occur in their modern lives. So how do you help your child be more confident, but without having to measure their self-esteem like a daily weather report? Here are 7 confidence building parenting tips that I think any mom will appreciate…
Improve your own self-confidence. Children learn by what they see, especially from their parents. If you want to raise confident children, you must be a confident person and confident at parenting. If your kiddo sees that you are afraid, they will learn to be afraid. If they see that you believe in yourself, they are more likely to emulate this behavior themselves and be confident instead of fearful.
Practice positive reinforcement. Much of the way a child perceives herself is based on the way she believes others view and value her. If you want to help your child to be confident and smart, you must reflect these things back to her. When she tries something new, be enthusiastic and encourage her. When she makes a good grade, tell her how proud you are of how smart she is. When she follows directions, praise her for it. Look for opportunities to reinforce your child positively, while also keeping the negative comments to a minimum and you will surely inspire confidence in her.
Let your child take risks. To grow self confidence everyone, including children, must learn to take risks. When we succeed, we are more confident to try new things in the future. When we fail, if we succeed and can learn from the failure we are more willing to take future risks because we know we can survive failures. I would never suggest you let your child do something that endangers their safety, but don’t over-protect them either. Parenting and protecting them is your number one job, but let them take measured, safe risks, and if they fail be supportive and encourage them to try again.
Keep a kid-friendly home so other kids will want to come over. Having more children over to your house will certainly mean more chaos and potential messes, but regular, positive, fun social interaction is important in helping your child have more confidence. Your child needs to know that you value him, but also that he is valued by his peers. Having a house that welcomes his friends and makes them want to come over will make this all the easier for him, plus he will be more at ease interacting with them because he has the comfort of his own home to encourage him to relax and be himself.
Know their friends. Children care a lot about what their friends think of them, so it’s important as a parent to know what kind of kids your child is hanging out with. Encourage your son or daughter to surround his or herself with positive friends, and be on the lookout for friends that might be negative, bossy, or a rebellious influence. You can help your child have more confidence by reminding them to be their own person and to not always go along with what’s popular.
Give them responsibilities. Since the beginning of time parents have believed in giving kids chores as a way to teach them to be responsible and to work hard. An additional benefit is that giving your child responsibility naturally teaches them confidence. When they are given a task to complete and do so to your satisfaction, and then you praise them, this builds confidence into them. Help them succeed by making your expectations clear and also making it clear that you know they can do it!
Supervise, but don’t interfere. When you are trying to teach your child to do something, do not over-manage them. Demonstrate the steps and then stand back and let them try. If they do not succeed, help them understand where they need to try again and then let them try again. As a parent you must understand their first efforts will not always be perfect, but if they get close be supportive and enthusiastic and remind them that practice makes perfect. Constantly interfering and doing things for your child will only send the message that you do not think they can do it on their own, and this will not help them be confident… so just take a step back and watch them learn, knowing you’ve equipped them with the skills to succeed.
