When I think about the early stages of a relationship, I always think about those early sparks and butterflies. That sizzle that seems to exist between two people as they are discovering everything about each other for the very first time. And of course there are those other sparks, the ones that really get your blood pulsing. But what if that doesn’t exist in your relationship? Not even in the beginning?
If you are in the situation to be dating or married to a true gentleman in every sense of the word, do you miss that spark that generally comes with a more rough-around-the-edges man? Gentlemen are notorious for being super sweet. For opening doors, holding coats, and pulling out chairs. This is the kind of guy that sends you flowers for no reason, that enjoys taking you and your mother to lunch, and that runs you a hot bubble bath after work and doesn’t invite himself into it. Gentlemen are always respectful of a woman’s boundaries and they never say anything off-color in the presence of a lady. But, when you date him, do you wish he was ever more playful and naughty with you? Do you find yourself longing for him to sweep you off your feet and carry you promptly off to bed?
Compare this, now to the less than gentlemanly blokes out there. Those naughty cads who whistle when a beautiful woman walks by. The charming chap who always has a quick line and a gorgeous smile when he sees you at the local pub. When you date this kind of man you are sure to find a great deal of passion and playfulness. This man won’t remember to send you flowers, but he will certainly find a reason to get you into the bathtub with him. The beginning of a relationship with him is often marked by a rush of heat and hormones, and depending on your chemistry it may last the course of the entire relationship. But, while he’s keeping you laughing and satisfied in numerous naughty ways, are you missing the romance and chivalry of the gentleman?
So, faced with the choice between gentleness and sparks, which would you choose? It seems men are always one or the other, and women are always wanting the one they don’t have. So perhaps the key here is finding balance. If you’re head over heels for your sweet, loving, romantic gentleman, maybe you can spice things up and let him know it’s okay to be a little less than appropriate with you, by sometimes being more playful and coy with him. If you find yourself swept up in a sizzling relationship with a manly man, you might have to be more direct and simply tell him that you’d really like it if he tried to add a touch of chivalry and romance to your interaction. Be prepared to give him specific examples and ideas… while Mr. Gentle is often in tune with your needs and subtle hints, Mr. Testosterone generally doesn’t speak the female language so he will need you to be direct.
Sparks or gentleness, readers… which would you choose if balance wasn’t an option?
